Hurricane
by aliceandhatter4ever
Summary: A songfic based on the promo for the new episode "Bombshells". HUDDY Warning: House may be OOC.


**A/N: Hi, everyone! I have just recently started to be interested in the House MD fandom. More specifically, the HousexCuddy pairing, also called "Huddy". Well I heard this song and I thought it fit the upcoming episode, "Bombshell". This is actually pretty much based off of everything showed in the promo. It's just going to be basically his inner thoughts on everything going on. The song is "Hurricane 2.0" by 30 Seconds to Mars ft. Kanye West. Enjoy!**

**x~x~x~x~**

(House POV)

_No matter how many times you told me you wanted to leave...No matter how many breaths that you took you still couldn't breathe...No matter how many nights that you'd lie wide awake to the sound of the pausing rain...Where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go? A heartbeat, a heartbeat, I need a heartbeat, a heartbeat..._

I was in my office bouncing my stress-relieving ball against the wall. I was thinking about how I've been such a jerk to Cuddy. I'm sure she thought about leaving me plenty of times. I'm so glad that she didn't and I made sure I told her that last night, but something felt off. Maybe I haven't told her enough what exactly she means to me. Just as I was thinking, Wilson came running into my room looking like he'd just seen a ghost.

I asked, "what's the matter with you? You usually don't run into my room. Something's up."

Wilson looked at me with such a face I knew it was big news. Cuddy and I have been through a lot lately, but nothing could prepare me for what I heard. My best friend, Wilson, was standing right in front of me telling me that Cuddy had a mass in her kidney. I froze.

_Tell me would you kill to save a life? Tell me would you kill to prove you're right? Crash, crash, burn. Let it all burn. This hurricane's chasing us all underground._

With every case I have ever worked on, I have been willing to put the patient's life at risk. But now that my girlfriend's life was at risk, I wasn't too sure if I could do that to her. Of course every time I put a patient's life at risk, it's because I want to prove my methods of thinking are correct. What if I make a mistake this time? I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. As much as Cuddy wants to be treated like a regular patient, I couldn't. I couldn't loose her, because if I did, I'd loose myself. That's when I realized that what is killing Cuddy is killing me, too.

_No matter how many deaths that I die, I will never forget...No matter how many lies that I live, I will never regret...There's a fire inside of the heart; a riot about to explode into flames...Where is your God? Where is your God? Where is your God?_

People would say that I never truly reveal my feelings, and they are right. That's why no one knows about my internal battle right now. I don't want to loose Cuddy because if she dies, I die. Just like before...and I don't want that to happen. I've also lied many times, I don't regret those lies because they have saved many lives, but I fear that they will condemn me and my mind for good if I loose her.

Like I said, people don't know that I have real feelings. They don't know that one thing can set me off. I could loose it at any moment because of how I love her.

Now I am watching her pray silently. I don't believe in this "God" of hers because I have been let down too many times in my life. But she seems to believe, so I have to support her and believe she is going to be okay. So, if she believes in this "God" so much, where is he?

_Do you really want? Do you really want me? Do you really want me dead or alive to torture for my sins? Do you really want? Do you really want me? Do you really want me dead or alive to live a lie? A heartbeat, a heartbeat, I need a heartbeat. You know I gotta leave, I can't stay, I know I gotta go, I can't stay..._

As I was sitting in Cuddy's hospital room watching her sleep, I contemplated what I would do if she were to live or if she were to die. Deep in thought, I started to hear a noise. I looked up a Cuddy's heart monitor and realized she was crashing. Sooner than I could call for help, my team came in and automatically started to work on her. I just stood and stare. I wanted to move. To go where? I don't know, all I know is that I wanted to move. The bad thing was that I couldn't. I was just standing complete shock; useless to anyone.

_Tell me would you kill to save a life? Tell me would you kill to prove you're right? Crash, crash, burn. Let it all burn. This hurricane's chasing us all underground._

While I was standing there watching my team work on Cuddy, I started to feel faint. Something was pulling me under. I fainted...and I had a dream.

_You say you're wrong, you're wrong, I'm right, I'm right, we fight...Okay, I'm running from the light, running from the day to night...Oh, the quiet silence defines our misery...The riot inside keeps trying to visit me...No matter how we try, it's too much history...too many bad notes playing in our symphony...so let it breathe, let it fly, let it go, let it fall, let it crash, burn slow...And then you call upon God...you call upon God..._

In the dream, it was just Cuddy and I. It was an exact replay of our whole relationship. It extended moment we first kissed to the moment she crashed. I guess it was my brain telling me I should be lucky to have her, even if we have our share of fights. I also think it was my brain telling me to go save her, and to do whatever it took to make her better, even if it meant risking her life.

_Tell me would you kill to save a life? Tell me would you kill to prove you're right? Crash, crash, burn. Let it all burn. This hurricane's chasing us all underground._

I opened my eyes. I made my decision.

**x~x~x~x~**

**A/N: I left it open at the end because we don't know for sure what exactly happens in the episode. So, what do think? Love it? Like it? Hate it? Is House too OOC? I think this idea would have been better as a fanvideo, but sadly, I don't have the software to do that, but if any of you out there want to use this idea and make a fanvideo, let me know. :) **


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